The name's Peter. From New Jersey. 23 years old. Absurdly sarcastic. Read much more in my "about me" by clicking on the link below. =)

Side note: Many people are wondering why there are no "non-anon" questions on my blog. It's because I answer them privately so my blog doesn't get overwhelmed with questions.

Side side note: I don't do promos.

Side side side note: I don't reblog unless the post is something I really feel needs to be seen.

 

Mom: What cha drinking?

Me: Cranberry juice.

Mom: With vodka?

Me: Who the fuck drinks cranberry juice without vodka?

Thank you, Netflix, for adding the incredibly stupid, but funny “Not Another Teen Movie” to your lineup. It was the first movie I ever snuck into the theater to see. It came out in 2001, meaning I was 10 when I snuck into see this unrated piece of cinematic filth. #goodtimes

Thank you, Netflix, for adding the incredibly stupid, but funny “Not Another Teen Movie” to your lineup. It was the first movie I ever snuck into the theater to see. It came out in 2001, meaning I was 10 when I snuck into see this unrated piece of cinematic filth. #goodtimes

I think I’ll pull into this gas station and threaten to sue them for false advertising if they don’t give me gas for 19 cents per gallon.

I think I’ll pull into this gas station and threaten to sue them for false advertising if they don’t give me gas for 19 cents per gallon.

Anonymous asked
I've followed you for over three years now and I still think you're awesome. You should know that. :)

Aw, you’re far too kind. That really means a lot. Thank you!!! :)

Alright, everybody. Now we can all finally stop tossing and turning at night. All is right in the world again. Nice Job, North Korea. Nice fuckin’ job.

Alright, everybody. Now we can all finally stop tossing and turning at night. All is right in the world again. Nice Job, North Korea. Nice fuckin’ job.

Day one of my juice fast is in the bag. I only unnecessarily flipped out on five people at work today, and I’m only craving forty-seven White Castle cheeseburgers, a large vodka milkshake, and a side of six fried chicken breasts with hot fudge dipping sauce. So, all in all, I’d say I’m off to a great start.

Day one of my juice fast is in the bag. I only unnecessarily flipped out on five people at work today, and I’m only craving forty-seven White Castle cheeseburgers, a large vodka milkshake, and a side of six fried chicken breasts with hot fudge dipping sauce. So, all in all, I’d say I’m off to a great start.

Tomorrow will be day one of a four day juice fast that consists of me consuming nothing but this bullshit in a bottle for four consecutive days.  No food, and more devastating, no alcohol. If I see you in person over the next four days and you happen to be eating at the time, I apologize in advance for attacking you and taking your food.

Tomorrow will be day one of a four day juice fast that consists of me consuming nothing but this bullshit in a bottle for four consecutive days. No food, and more devastating, no alcohol. If I see you in person over the next four days and you happen to be eating at the time, I apologize in advance for attacking you and taking your food.

Anonymous asked
Oh no :( I wish I could instantly transplant the brains of other boys for replicas of your brains. And then the world would be a better place.

You’re very kind, but the world certainly wouldn’t be a better place! Thank you, though. :)

Anonymous asked
Hey peter. How are you? Are you still battling depression?

I am. Very much so. The only thing that keeps me hanging on is my grandma. She’s my everything. :)

Breezy, clear, and 58 degrees. Fall evenings don’t get much better than this.

Breezy, clear, and 58 degrees. Fall evenings don’t get much better than this.

Haven’t shaved in five days. #ithinkitstime

Haven’t shaved in five days. #ithinkitstime

My attitude regarding birthday parties after 21.

Thanks for the suggestions, Netflix. Really appreciate it.

Thanks for the suggestions, Netflix. Really appreciate it.

Heavy rain and humid conditions in the forecast for tomorrow. Excellent.  Looking forward to looking like this all day.

Heavy rain and humid conditions in the forecast for tomorrow. Excellent. Looking forward to looking like this all day.

Anonymous asked
Pickles or poop??

Pickled poop.