When I'm driving around with friends who are a...
Boss: Did we receive any checks today?
Boss: How much? You'd mentioned that we have over $200,000 to pay off.
Me: Hold onto your Larry King suspenders. We received a whopping $127 today.
Boss: Oh, my. This prosperity is overwhelming. We're a national corporation and we just received 127 bucks. My, my. The possibilities are endless.
Me: Would this be a good time to ask for a raise?
Co-worker: Did you see that game last night?
Me: I spent last weekend giving myself mint facials, watching soap operas, and drinking wine-spritzers. Do they sound like the activities of a fucking sports fan?
Anonymous asked: Peturr! Just random. Which do you prefer, Winter, Summer, Spring or Autumn? :)
That huge pile of lard that spills over when...
Anonymous asked: hahah.. It's from a movie.. Due Date. you should watch it :)
Anonymous asked: BECAUSE HE'S DEAD, PETER!
Anonymous asked: why do you look so good as a girl? you look better than me. PETER!
Anonymous asked: What are you doing right now (:
Anonymous asked: Oh my.... Even sucking a banana you make me wet!!! Wish you post a sexy picture of yours... Kisses, Horny girl
Anonymous asked: I too am gay and the picture of you with the banana is the highlight of my day!
Anonymous asked: welp, im gay and that picture of you with the banana in your mouth just made me hard
For those of you who are convinced that I'm gay,...
Anonymous asked: DO YOU THINK I'M ANGRY? BECAUSE THE CAPS LOCK IS ON.
Anonymous asked: you got friends!?
Anonymous asked: its raining
Anonymous asked: What's your most prized possession?
Anonymous asked: I'm the student of the month at my school!!!!!!
When you haven't cleared your history and someone...
Anonymous asked: To the last anon, he didn't TRY to eat his face. I saw the picture, and he is missing one eye, his forehead, his nose, and most of both cheeks. I'm really disgusted by this, because of one man's decision to take drugs, another is nearly dead and if he does live through this, he life is ruined. All because another guy wanted to get high.
Anonymous asked: Just so you know the dude that tried eating the guys face was on PCP at the time.
Anonymous asked: Speaking of fuck up humans, have you heard about the man in Miami who ate another man's face? Pretty disturbing shit.
Anonymous asked: So I'm guessing you're okay with being the sole reason for the end of the human race?
Anonymous asked: Are you a virgin?
Anonymous asked: It is a matter of life or death. You see, unless we know all of the Earth's middle names the aliens are going to kill all the women of the Earth and then the men will be forced to watch everyone die and no new babies will be born because there will be no women...
Anonymous asked: Post a picture wearing the sunglassesss!
Anonymous asked: What did you buy at walmart? :3
Anonymous asked: i like dancing in the rain.. but thunder scares the shit out of me (although it is beautiful)
Anonymous asked: AHHH! thunder. are you scared of thunder?
Anonymous asked: we experienced the same storm... at the same time.. god, that makes me so.. hot.
Anonymous asked: hola, ablos perfectos espagnolos, taco.
Anonymous asked: What do you think about masturbation?
Anonymous asked: My body is ready. ;)
Anonymous asked: I don't like all this talk of you leaving America.
Anonymous asked: Undressing? ;) That's hot.
Anonymous asked: Do you have a middle name?
Anonymous asked: So if you wanted to flirt with a girl- what would you do? Any tricks you might use?
Anonymous asked: What are you doing right now?
Anonymous asked: How many relationships were you in?
Anonymous asked: Yeah, that's a good thing about Britain we have less rules and boundaries of questions in interviews. My personal favourites are Matt Edmondson and Alan Carr. They just throw any old personal question out there. Is it true that you can't swear on American interviews?
Anonymous asked: YES!! Oh god please tell me you watch him? You seem already to be borderline perfect but if you watch him you might just tip over..
Anonymous asked: Yes, yes you would. People find it socially acceptable to be rude to each other here. It's a way of life. Did you know on a interview show here. The presenter has a few people from the audience come up and sit on a chair and tell a story and if he doesnt like the story he'll just pull a leaver and flip them off the chair. Thats all normal here. Come join in the fun and games.
Anonymous asked: Dining in a rolls royce having over eaten again. Spells out diarrhoea. Just letting you know. If you ever need to spell it just remember that handy little tip. Lots of love
Anonymous asked: Peter, this is getting silly now. Come to London and faff about around here for a while. No one will mind..
He wants the dick.
Anonymous asked: You're so fucking attractive. Holy shit. <3
Anonymous asked: Its so hot here and I have nothing to drink but water, but water is gross.