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The name's Peter. From New Jersey. 22 years old. Absurdly sarcastic. Read much more in my "about me" by clicking on the link below. =)
Side note: Many people are wondering why there are no "non-anon" questions on my blog. It's because I answer them privately so my blog doesn't get overwhelmed with questions.
Side side note: I don't do promos.
Side side side note: I don't reblog unless the post is something I really feel needs to be seen.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
When someone knocks on your door and says: “Are you sleeping?”…
Not anymore, bitch.
When those pissbags complain about getting a 99 on a test…
Meanwhile you’re sitting there with like a 2, and it’s just like:
Hey Tumblr, you’re a DICK: Posting issues, messaging issues, etc…
Now that tumblr has recovered from its 15 hour long epileptic seizure, I’d like to apologize to anyone who may have sent me a message during that time and hasn’t gotten a reply. During the time that Tumblr was being a moron, it didn’t allow me to post anything, answer anything, or receive any new messages.
Though it’s all fixed now, any messages that may have been sent to me during that time have been completely lost.
Feel free to resend any questions/comments/complaints/etc. if you’re one of those to whom I haven’t responded. I don’t want you guys thinking that I’m a disinterested, unresponsive prick. A prick maybe, but not a disinterested, unresponsive one ;P. So once again, I apologize, but don’t blame me. Blame the techtarded twits who can’t fucking seem to run this website smoothly.
FYI: Even though my artistic skills, or lack thereof, have resulted in the above drawing to look like a stumpy penis, it is in fact supposed to be a middle finger.
Dear Tumblr Staff,
Sincerely,
Bloggers who don’t react well to unnecessary change
Teacher: “This assignment is due in two weeks, so you have PLENTY of time to perfect it.”
Us:
“This asshole actually thinks we’re not going to do it at the last minute!”
When you get fed up that you’re the only one in the group doing the work…
Don’t want to contribute? Oh look; now we all fail.
Snuggies: Why? Just Why?
So I came home earlier to find my mother all cozied up on the couch with a FUCKING SNUGGIE on. How ridiculous are they? Snuggies are, hands down, the most useless invention since inflatable dartboards.
Do you know how you can make your very own Snuggie at home? Go in your closet, pick out your favorite bathrobe, and put the fucker on backwards. Voilà! You have a Snuggie! So anyone who runs out and pays $19.95 for a backwards bathrobe should be asphyxiated with it.
And one last thing: take a look at this picture:
Great for outdoors? Really, bitch? What ASSHOLE would wear that in public? They look like a bunch of mentally-challenged KKK wannabes that didn’t quite get the memo regarding the dress code.
“The Jersey Shore Girls Have Landed in Italy”
My fellow Italians,
I bid you good luck and offer you my deepest sympathies. On a brighter note, I expect a rather impressive surge in Valtrex sales (genital herpes medication), so that might breathe a bit of life into your struggling economy.
