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The name's Peter. From New Jersey. 22 years old. Absurdly sarcastic. Read much more in my "about me" by clicking on the link below. =)

Side note: Many people are wondering why there are no "non-anon" questions on my blog. It's because I answer them privately so my blog doesn't get overwhelmed with questions.

Side side note: I don't do promos.

Side side side note: I don't reblog unless the post is something I really feel needs to be seen.

 

mochachiller345:

A man who truly cares for a woman simply wants her to be happy; and if that means maintaining a friendship with a very good friend, then he shouldn’t have anything against that, regardless of his bad feelings toward that friend.” - http://shutyourface09.tumblr.com/

^ This guy is seriously the BEST friend anyone could ever ask for. Such wise words of wisdom and I love him oh so very much. <3

Aww, thank you! That’s very sweet of you. <3 you too. =D

When I see people who wake up in the morning all energetic and happy like this:

I just want to be like:

Pipe the fuck down, bitch.

The initial mindset to eat healthy today:
 “Psh. Piece of cake. No big deal.” 

….

10 minutes later; phone rings.

Grandma: “Come on over, we just ordered a stuffed-crust pizza for lunch.”

Me: “On my way!”

Plastic Surgery: Just Stop

Society’s obsession with looking perfect is one that is has been steadily worsening for quite some time. Not only is this detrimental to one’s mental health, it’s also proving to be detrimental to one’s ability to look like a fucking human, in the case of many celebrities. 

Instead of accepting themselves, they get their lips plumped up to look like they were kneed in the mouth by a quarterback, their boobs enlarged to look like overfilled beach-balls, and their faces nipped, tucked, pulled, and plucked to look like they’ve just survived a massive fire and/or possible explosion (in Michael Jackson’s case — too soon? Who cares.). 

Here are two disasters to examine:

Up first is the queen of plastic surgery. Her nose looks like it belongs in Whoville and her facial skin looks like it was grafted from a horse-saddle. With one look at this over-stretched kisser, children are reduced to tears and barnyard animals scatter. Yes, it’s Joan Rivers. 

What a looker.

Next up is the world’s first supermodel, Janice Dickinson. She was stunningly gorgeous in her prime, but has since gone from supermodel to supergross. Her lips look like a baboon’s ass, her boobs like poorly-filled, crease-ridden water balloons, and her facial structure is beginning to resemble that of the Crypt Keeper’s. 

Time to pack it in, Janice.

The moral of the story? Stop obsessing with perfection. It’s an abstract, non-existent notion that does nothing but create unattainable expectations and wreak havoc on one’s self-worth. And obviously, plastic surgery is (more often than not) a terrible idea, as demonstrated by the frightening catastrophes above. Don’t change yourself to appeal to what society deems “attractive.” Play the cards you’re dealt, accept yourself, and be happy. 

When you find out that your parents are going away for the weekend:


The first time you hear a strange noise:

“OMG, I’M GOING TO GET KIDNAPPED!!!!!!”