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The name's Peter. From New Jersey. 22 years old. Absurdly sarcastic. Read much more in my "about me" by clicking on the link below. =)
Side note: Many people are wondering why there are no "non-anon" questions on my blog. It's because I answer them privately so my blog doesn't get overwhelmed with questions.
Side side note: I don't do promos.
Side side side note: I don't reblog unless the post is something I really feel needs to be seen.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
Daily Dose of Sarcasm
I’d decided to take the train to the mall this morning, and as I was patiently awaiting its arrival at the train station, a complete stranger approached me and asked the following question: “Hey, did the train come yet?”
Me:
Momentarily, I thought about saying: “If the train came, would I still be standing here?” But no, that simply wasn’t sarcastic enough.
So I swiftly replied: “Yeah, as a matter of fact it did. And I’ve decided to wait here just to let you know that you’ve missed it.”
Someone’s going to pull out a gun and shoot me in the face one day.
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Replies to comments:
@psychadeliclove Not exactly. Though I said something similar a while back while I was on my way to school I believe and might have posted about it. Good memory! Haha. :)
Those old fat guys that have a constant case of plumber’s crack…
When they’re standing in front of me, I’m like:
And then when they bend over…
When ghetto girls are about to kick some ass…
Gurrllll, don’t make me take off my weave.
Daily Dose of Sarcasm,
I was out and about taking a refreshing walk earlier today and had gotten quite thirsty, so I decided to stop in a local drug store to get myself a diet coke.
I walked into the store (which smelled like a delightful mix between whiskey and dog piss), picked up a diet coke, walked up to the cashier to pay for it, and placed it on the counter. The cashier asked, with a perplexed look: “That’s all you have?”
**Sarcasm mode activated** I gave her a few seconds of this look
then replied: “No, I have an entire shopping cart full of stuff parked in isle 7; I just wanted to bring up each item one by one and pay for them separately.”
I realize that was totally unnecessary of me, but I’m a ridiculous person, and I’ve come to accept that.
When you tell your mom about something funny that happened to you, but she just ends up freaking out…
THAT’S HOW IT ALL STARTS!!!
