------------------------------------- The name's Peter. From New Jersey. 22 years old. Absurdly sarcastic. Read much more in my "about me" by clicking on the link below. =) Side note: Many people are wondering why there are no "non-anon" questions on my blog. It's because I answer them privately so my blog doesn't get overwhelmed with questions. Side side note: I don't do promos. Side side side note: I don't reblog unless the post is something I really feel needs to be seen.
I’d decided to take the train to the mall this morning, and as I was patiently awaiting its arrival at the train station, a complete stranger approached me and asked the following question: “Hey, did the train come yet?”
Momentarily, I thought about saying: “If the train came, would I still be standing here?” But no, that simply wasn’t sarcastic enough.
So I swiftly replied: “Yeah, as a matter of fact it did. And I’ve decided to wait here just to let you know that you’ve missed it.”
Someone’s going to pull out a gun and shoot me in the face one day.
Replies to comments:
@psychadeliclove Not exactly. Though I said something similar a while back while I was on my way to school I believe and might have posted about it. Good memory! Haha. :)
When they’re standing in front of me, I’m like:
And then when they bend over…
Gurrllll, don’t make me take off my weave.
I was out and about taking a refreshing walk earlier today and had gotten quite thirsty, so I decided to stop in a local drug store to get myself a diet coke.
I walked into the store (which smelled like a delightful mix between whiskey and dog piss), picked up a diet coke, walked up to the cashier to pay for it, and placed it on the counter. The cashier asked, with a perplexed look: “That’s all you have?”
**Sarcasm mode activated** I gave her a few seconds of this look
then replied: “No, I have an entire shopping cart full of stuff parked in isle 7; I just wanted to bring up each item one by one and pay for them separately.”
I realize that was totally unnecessary of me, but I’m a ridiculous person, and I’ve come to accept that.
THAT’S HOW IT ALL STARTS!!!