Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
When a totally random person insults someone you hate…
New friend!!!
Dear Drivers,
Inching your way forward every 2.3 seconds at a red light will NOT make it turn green any faster.
Calm down…
Titanic: Really, Rose?
Ok, so Titanic is one of my favorite movies of all time, and I’ve seen it more times than I care to even think about. It got to a point when I was 7 or 8 where I used to rent it from the video store so often that they would rent it to me for free. Yeah, seriously. But I digress. One thing has always bothered me, though. At the end - you know where Rose is resting comfortably on a fucking floating door and Jack is nostrils-deep in icicle-infested waters? There was room for two on that door, you greedy bitch!
You killed Jack.
The Easter Bunny
My brother, who is 9 years old, still believes in the Easter Bunny. How anyone, at the age of 9, can believe that a human-sized rabbit travels to your house at night, eats a few carrots, and leaves a basket filled with Russel Stover chocolate and marshmallow Peeps truly astonishes me. I found the whole idea of it absolutely ridiculous at the age of 5. I didn’t want a giant rodent sneaking into my house at night to eat my vegetables and leave me brand-name chocolate that my parents could easily get me at the store!
I’d like to know who came up with the idea of the Easter Bunny in the first place. Who, in their right mind, sat down one day, and thought that a humongous, chocolate-toting, basket-carrying, colorful-egg-laying rabbit somehow symbolizes the alleged resurrection of Jesus? One thing comes to mind when I think of the origin of this idea: SHROOMS.
Happy Easter!
(Btw, Mom and Dad: if you took the price tags off the chocolate before putting it in the basket, I might have believed in the giant bunny for a little bit longer.)
